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Loss in itself is painful enough, but sudden loss (when someone dies accidentally, unexpectedly and/or violently) is shocking and the shock can double one’s pain and intensify grief.�� A sudden loss may seem more painful, complicated and emotional. ��

Challenges of sudden loss

• There is no chance to prepare or to gradually absorb the change in your world
• There is an increase in grief over the senselessness or unfairness nature of the death
  • Some feel cheated as there was no last good-bye
  • Feeling cheated can add to one’s despair and anguish
  • “If only . . .” is a common question one may ask themselves
• There may be grief over the lack of dignity of the death
  • Feeling the deceased was denied a peaceful or natural death
• The world can feel less safe
  • Feelings of disenfranchisement (the world is bad) and vulnerability may increase
  • Feeling fearful, uncertain, angry and/or frustrated with the world
  • It may be hard to watch TV, read the news, etc.
• There may be feelings of guilt because you have survived
  • This is a normal feeling, even if it feels unreasonable
  • Taking some responsibility for the death is an attempt to get some control of the senselessness of the incident
• When a younger person dies suddenly or violently the feeling of unnaturalness is heightened for some, “they still had so much life to live”
• Some sudden losses have media coverage making the loss more public
  • Some feel a loss of privacy or information is misrepresented
  • Yet one may find themselves obsessively gathering/following the reports
• There may also be more involvement of the criminal justice system
  • Negotiating autopsies, police reports, legal meetings/hearing can increase emotional turmoil
  • The legal system can also go on for some time, possibly delaying parts of the grieving process
• Anger/rage feeling may be overwhelming
• There may be a lack of control over memories and thoughts about the loss
• Some may feel isolated
  • Not sure who to trust and lean on for support

Take care of yourself through your grief

• Express your feelings
• Get support from others whether it's from family, friends, counselor, or a grief group

Adapted from Hospice Care of ����Vlog�ƽ�� and Broomfield and .